Groundwork Magazine

It’s commonly said that people live up to their labels, or in many cases down to it. It’s that specific concern that sparks the heated debate on whether parents should or should not reveal a diagnosis to their developing child.

 

On one side of the coin, if your child is starting to acknowledge that they are different from their peers a diagnosis might offer an explanation as to why they face certain difficulties. It could be a comfort and provide a community that helps them understand themselves better.

 

On the other side, some parent’s believe it can be detrimental to label their child while they are still developing because it could result in a child living down to their diagnosis.

 

The word disability itself is defined as a physical or mental condition that limits a person's movements, senses, or activities[1].

 

So by not telling a child about their disability, some parents feel that it prevents their children from feeling different or

limited. Maybe even preventing or prolonging a feeling of division between them and their peers.

 

David Lal, the former Recreational Programmer at Community Living York South feels that this is something each parent has to gage but overall it’s a child’s right to know.

 

“It all depends on the functional ability of the person. If someone has something apparent versus someone who has more of an intellectual disability then I think they have a right to know why they might look or act different than the rest of the people around them.”

 

Lal adds that there is also a level of safety and advocacy involved in an individual knowing about their diagnosis.

 

“If for some reason their parents are not around, [a person] needs to be able to tell others about themselves. They can’t do that if they don’t even know that they have a disability.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Samantha La Marche an Ontario Certified Special Education Teacher and former coordinator of the S.N.A.P. program at Brock University feels that the situation is complex and individualistic.    

 

“I have a cousin who doesn’t know he’s special but all the other kids do. He only plays with younger kids because that’s where he’s at… There’s no real point in telling him [about his disability] because he wouldn’t understand. There needs to be some self-actualization where a child realizes they’re different in order to be told that they have a problem.”

 

However, she also sees the other side of the debate saying, “I do know a parent who told her child she has ADHD and when we spoke [the girl] said to me “my life changed today” and went around telling everyone she had ADHD. From then on it became a sort of learned helpless.”

 

In the end La Marche felt that there were some factors to take into account. First she felt that it depended on a child and if they could handle knowing about their diagnosis.

 

Next, it depended on the parents and if they were capable of supporting their child though the process of accepting their disability. She felt that parents should honestly ask themselves, do I have the time, the means and a comfort level to deal with the hard questions.

 

 Finally La Marche felt it also included the child’s peers, saying, “If bullying is taking place because your child looks or acts differently then the situation needs to be addressed right away.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Consensus shows that telling your child about their disability is extremely subjective. There are a lot of factors to take into account. While there’s no correct answer or right time there are some studies show that it isn’t until around grade three that a child even recognises they have a problem, unless it’s very apparent. With that in mind, a suggested time to talk to your child can be around the young grade school age.

 

Finally, the important thing to remember is that withholding a label is extremely different from denying a diagnosis. A disability isn’t something bad or taboo and shouldn’t be treated like it is.  Your child’s diagnosis is just one aspect of the many things that make them who they are.

 

 

 

[1] Soanes, Catherine. Concise Oxford English Dictionary. 11th ed. New York: Oxford UP, 2004. Print